Saturday, April 25, 2009

Flora London Marathon

OK Peeps it's nearly here.. .this time tomorrow hopefully I'll be extremely tired, a little bit sore but mainly extremely happy!! ... Well that's the plan anyhow!

Race number 42162 "feels" like a nice number to have I think, although I seem to have been placed in the red start pen number 8 which is like the 11min miler pen (5ish hours) I'm not sure if I put that time down but think perhaps this is the slot I took as I got it late. Not that I'm complaining, but it's going to take a long while to get over the start line and then I suspect I won't be able to run too fast - which may be a blessing.

I'm not too sure of expectations of finish time. I think on a good day I may be capable of something like 4:10, on a normal day probably sub 4:30 and if I have a mard on about something then anytime later... LOL! I think overall the best idea is not to stop (lesson learnt there as it just hurts too flippin much!), to enjoy everything and most importantly not to injure myself. I know how pig headed I can become but hopefully I learned my lesson several years ago and to carry on when injured just screws you for the future. So hopefully if I do myself some harm I won't be stoopid enough to try and finish as there are other races this year that I want to do and enjoy.. after all what is a bit of bling between friends.. OK OK so I'll be gutted not to finish, but sometimes that just happens right!

I'm lucky enough to have some family and friends coming to shout some support - I hope I get to spot them as it's going to be manically crowded but with runners and supporters! For those not making it, then there's on line race tracking, apparently every 5k we pass a timing mat - how cool is that!! See
... although I can't believe the site will handle the amount of traffic, something like 40,000 runners and who knows how many hits to the site via mobile devices or 'puters etc!

Now here's the thing I'm actually most nervous about.. yes people I was given my flier at the expo whilst picking up my number and timing chip... "Introducing the P-Mate to the Flora London Marathon".. WTF!?!

I'm not sure you will be able to make out the pictures on my flier - the instructions go something like this... sorry if this kinda freaks you out a bit>>......

- Unfold the P-mate. Ensure that the open P-mate keeps its shape by not squeezing too hard, the hindmost triangle to a flat level. Now you have a little tray
{good a tray.. a cooking tray? oh no triangular tray, wierd}

- Pull your shorts and pants to one side and place the large opening directly under the flow area between your legs. The sides of the P-mate opening should surrond the flow area completely
{wait a minute shorts and pants... I'm just wearing shorts - that could be a problem. OK so shorts down then large opening under my what... err... "flow"... oh god this could go anywhere and everywhere}

- Straighten your knees and push your bottom backwards so that the spout of the P-mate is pointed downwards
{knees straight, bum back, spout uncontrollable..... if my "flow" makes it I've no control of my spout... wholly crap... on second thoughts maybe that's not the right word to use "crap"... hummm}

- Relax and let nature do the rest - PEE!
{Aggghhhhhhhhhh ....... let's hope so.... hopefully no splash back!}

- For easy transportation, fold the P-mate double along the line. Put your used P-mate in the bin.
{transportation, what I can fly with p-mate? Maybe it'll make me run faster}
- The P-Mate is made of environmentally friendly, fully recyclable material.
- The P-Mate should be used only once

I may just give it a "go" out of interest, although there's a high risk of me peeing my pants (well ok on them), after all the last time I attempted a standing up peeing was when I was about three whe I did it did go down my legs - apparently - according to my mum this was the moment I realised girls were different from boys!

On a completely different and much more palatable subject ... look what I picked up today... and cue the purring.....

Muffin liked it... and so did I!

She/ He (I haven't decided it's sex yet... ) ... is called "MAX"



  1. JulesR7:52 pm

    Very nice bikey - and a bit if subliminal La Santa advertising in the background;)

  2. Purrrrrrrrr.... Me likey!

    I know you are probably sleeping, and you better be! I know you will got out tomorrow and give it your best. Time is such an inconsequential thing on your first marathon. Learn something. Finish, and have fun...

    and I'm still giggling about hte p-mate. Only in England...