Still.... Having taken a few weeks off on a time out I've started my research for a new role... I would say hunting, but that assumes I know what is perfect for me and that perfect job actually exists in today's market.
I know what I like, what I'm good at, what I'm prepared to do and what not.... I am quite flexible....
I went to the job centre today and found adverts for the following three temporary jobs;
1. SANTA'S ELVES
The questions is it an ELF;
or an ELF;
... and no, clearly this not an advert for THE E.L.F as we know there is only one of them... the job description reads thus;
As an ELF your duties will include; - 'Meeting and Greeting' children and their families, and assisting to ensure each child is photographed with Santa {can you imagine}
- Entertaining queues {What?! A long queue, lots of kids, and the elf needs to occupy them?}
- Assisting with the Father Christmas interview {That just sounds wrong - if santa's getting paid he can do the interview himself - bah humbug}
- Working the Till Point {Wait, the kids have to pay.... are you trying to tell me it's not a real Santa and in fact Santa's not real?}
AND
- Refilling Santa sacks! {They have put the exclamation mark on that sentance, not me.. I fear that this may be the most exciting part of the day}
Experience in Customer Service or working with children is preferred, but not essential as full training is given.
... but no toy making in sight - this isn't what I imagined a real ELF's job to be... sigh...
... oh and don't worry as it does state that a criminal records bureau check is done to make sure you're not someone who shouldn't be doing that kinda job!
OK... so what else... of course;
2. GROTTO SUPERVISOR
Do you think it means this;
...no... having taken a look - that doesn't seem too Christmas like.....
So it must be for a proper supervisor then;
"If you think you have what it takes to run a Christmas Grotto Event we would love to hear from you!"
OK - I'm all ears..... normal ears mind, not elf ears....
"As a Grotto Supervisor (note capitals, must be important role - yes maybe I could rename the position Grotto Director...) you will be responsible for the day to day running of Santa's Grotto {eh oh, what if the Elf's rebel or something?}
Your job will include;
- Dealing with customers {they mean kids right? Oh and upset parents.. humm}
- Managing a team {oh lord they mean them pesky elfs}
- Control all administration {a.k.a the till} and any other duties as required {cha-chink there's the catch all}
Hummm....
Of course there is always;
3. FATHER CHRISTMAS
Clearly in this day of equality there is no mention that the most suitable candidate is a man, of a certain age, preferably with beard and a nice demeanor.... or who can say "Ho! Ho! Ho!" in such a way as to not appear creepy.
"As Father Christmas you will be required to hold short conversations with children visiting the grotto, give them a present and also pose for a photo with each child."
... and here's the killer;
"A Father Christmas costume and full training will be provided"
Wait a minute... full training... to be Santa.... ?! Really?
Sigh.... I haven't put my application in yet for any of the above.
OH and I just realised... It's October still and I just spent a whole blog entry talking about Christmas!! Already! I'm as bad as the supermarket aisles who's shelves are staked with Christmas stuff already!!!
"As Father Christmas you will be required to hold short conversations with children visiting the grotto, give them a present and also pose for a photo with each child."
... and here's the killer;
"A Father Christmas costume and full training will be provided"
Wait a minute... full training... to be Santa.... ?! Really?
Sigh.... I haven't put my application in yet for any of the above.
OH and I just realised... It's October still and I just spent a whole blog entry talking about Christmas!! Already! I'm as bad as the supermarket aisles who's shelves are staked with Christmas stuff already!!!